Therapy notes

When I was in therapy

CBT for my PTSD

I had to tell the woman what happened

And she recorded it,

I had to listen to this hour long thing,

As many times as possible to get used to the feelings and process them,

Desensitise myself,

Here’s what I wrote the second time I listened to it

(I had to note down the bits that were particularly difficult, when I got upset.)

24 mins in the word sex. Right at the start when I was talking about being ashamed. 26.42 Start of the description. Safe place 37 mins.

Just the embarrassment of her asking me to go to my safe place made me get twound,

As if I didn’t deserve to go there.

The first time, I heard myself cry quite a lot

I heard myself cry in a desperate way

I heard my breathing become heavy and laboured and I heard the distress

That helped me have the empathy I have for myself now,

Strong woman,

I treat myself like a treasured friend.

When I told what I thought of myself after, she asked me :”What would you say, if your friend told you this?”

I’d say it wasn’t her fault, and I wouldn’t be lying.

I deleted what I wrote the first time I listened to it – I didn’t want to see it again,

She also said I could delete the recording now,

And I did, and it felt good.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s