love you bbz

Thanks for your presence,

I reach out to you and you pour attention and “love ya”s my way,

I love when you’re happy and when you’re not I wish for better for you and let you talk about the same things and I’ll never mind that.

The same things come up even in a life of dynamism,

In a life of stasis, the same happens so thanks for listening to my sameness too.

There’s no pressure to speak if we don’t want, just your general presence in my box of treasured people makes me glad.

The soft reality of night

If I just turn my laptop off and try to sleep, maybe I’ll stop feeling like a kitten lost in a forest as I type into the white beacon in the shrinking darkness. My shoulders won’t feel so cold and vulnerable if I lay down on them.

If I just lie down horizontal, my feelings won’t fall out, the room won’t be able to hold me in it’s bitter hand, I’ll sink into rest and feel better in the morning and I won’t be able to actively wonder if you’re thinking of me.