Even though I know I shouldn’t be aspiring to this – which I’m not-
it would be so much easier to stumble through life, knowing that I could come home and fuck you.
Just to take your hand in the supermarket, or the bar, or at a bus stop and let your presence lift me up.
Feel the plunging realness of love in different circumstances.
Whose beliefs make you up?
Whose fingers wake you up?
Whose voice takes you up, lets you lift beyond your means?
I am wholly significant to myself,
Thank you self for feeding me,
for loving me,
for holding me
Thank you self for bathing me in warm waters,
for letting me rest,
for protecting my blessed heart,
that I myself blessed,
with words spoken without the mouth,
with love given without expectation or pressure or resentment.
I want to be see-through to you,
And you to me.
I want you to lift my arms up with your fingertips,
I want you.
I just want someone to sleep with in both ways. Someone with whom a love can grow happily – with neither one of us shouldering more burden than the other. I don’t want to labour or suffer for you. I want to easily please you and to be easily pleased in return. In you hands, I want to feel my restlessness lift away and leave me. I want to exercise vulnerability and not resilience. I want to feel no restraint, only joy, as I lie with you fondly and feel gladdened by your heavy presence, your lion-gentle breath.
Thanks for your presence,
I reach out to you and you pour attention and “love ya”s my way,
I love when you’re happy and when you’re not I wish for better for you and let you talk about the same things and I’ll never mind that.
The same things come up even in a life of dynamism,
In a life of stasis, the same happens so thanks for listening to my sameness too.
There’s no pressure to speak if we don’t want, just your general presence in my box of treasured people makes me glad.
I sew myself together with silky ribbons,
I embroider my outside and in,
I deserve sequins and pretty buttons, so I sing in the bath,
Because it’s soothing
Because I like my singing voice
Because I enjoy the melody and the feeling of creation.