I’m sat on the shower floor, watching Peep Show through the glass.
My breath and the steam misting the panel.
I’m glad I don’t have to rush.
People are out.
Periodically the water goes cold,
Not freezing, just cold enough to be uncomfortable.
I wait it out.
When it’s hot again I feel blessed.
My hair goes from brown to black in the water – curls fight against the water’s weight.
I’m exhausted when I get out.
I lie on the bed in my towel – aching.
The labour of pulling a comb through curls combines with that need to distract myself from tiring thoughts.
That, in itself, is tiring.
I’m wiped out but I did something today and so I feel accomplished.
In a minute, when I’ve come round I’ll eat something-
Then I’ll have done something else.
I’ve learnt that struggling is normal, and I’m glad for that.
It helps me come to terms with my life sometimes.
And I will improve, I’ve improved so much already.