If anyone has a soul, everyone has a soul.

Snow-studded sycamore with a bird in, with a brain in, with a soul in.

How lucky are we with souls in the trees above us and the air around,

with souls in the soil beneath us and the flesh among us.

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A landscape built at ten past midnight

Rolling hills, grassy carpet daisy-dotted,

Teletubby land but without the disturbing lion and bear who were the fear of all kids born in the nineties,

A vegan KFC plopped in the middle provides ethical nourishment in the land of Bedfordshire,

Red and white tiles, but we’re in England, not America – I assume.

And I can sit on the floor it’s that clean, just in the corner where I like it.

Cake and custard for afters and you don’t have to pay, obviously, because who pays for things in dreamlands.

Experience – what I’ve learnt

Right, right, right.

I need to talk about this.

I’ve only recently started this blog, and since doing so, my confidence in sharing my content has grown.

I feel pleased when anyone takes the time to read what I’ve written and it still feels somewhat of a novelty to have anyone’s eyes on my work, other than my own.

When I started, I was very reluctant to tell anyone I knew about it, but over the past month, I’ve actually been surprised about how willing I am to send close friends the link.

And I’ve had some positive feedback, which is nice. It’s so lovely to do something I enjoy, that feels helpful to my well-being, and to have people respond to it in such a way.

So thank you if you’ve ever read any of my poems or pressed the little star on anything I’ve done – I appreciate it every time I have a little orange dot on the bell in the top corner.

It’s the 28th of April today and I actually started properly posting on about the 8th or somewhere around there, so it’s not been long.

Sorry, this post is a bit of a mish-mash – I’ve already gone on quite a tangent, from what I was originally posting. (Also, just to interject again – I really like really short paragraphs as a reader, so that’s why I do them as a writer, I find it just makes it more readable, I think my attention span’s got shorter in recent years, so short paragraphs are a blessing I find.)

Anywayy, when I scrawled the beginnings of this post in my notebook, the intention was to share with whoever may be reading this, some things I’ve learnt.

I don’t think my perspective’s incredibly important or anything, but I don’t think it’s not important either and this is my platform, right? So I have to stop apologising for sharing things.

(It’s a bit like when I was a teenager and I was deathly afraid of posting a picture of myself anywhere because I felt like it somehow wasn’t my place, or that people would think I was vain or self- involved or something. When really, no one really cares, so now, if I want to put a picture of myself on my social media – I bloody well will, and there’s no need for me to make any excuse other than “I wanted to”.)

Anyway (2nd anyway), moving on from my own discussion of my writing/ sharing self- confidence issues, I’m going to jump right into this short list of a few things I’ve learnt about life over the past few/5ish years/ as I’ve become an adult human. (I’m 23 now if that helps haha.) Just a few.

Here we go:

  1. A lot of people on dating apps are awful. Awful. (These people also exist in real life as well – but I come into contact with them more regularly through the window of my phone screen and some of them may be more brazen or heinous with that barrier of course.)
  2.  It can be really difficult to exist in public, when people think you (or the people around you e.g. a partner or a friend) are anything other than cis and straight.
  3. I’ve noticed a strange, but regularly appearing thought pattern amongst people I’ve met concerning the boundaries between sex and other romantic intimacy – a sort of worryingly common notion that divides the two in a way I find, at best odd and at worst disturbing and even dangerous.
  4. A lot (a lot) of people have mental health issues and I am by no means alone.
  5. The meat and dairy industry is deeply bleak.

I want to explain these in more detail but I’m already around 556 words and I feel like each number deserves a post in itself – It could take me a while though, this feels like heavy stuff and I am not keen on heavy – not with these skinny arms.

I’m not sure if I should include facts and figures and do research, or if I should just tell you what I’ve personally experienced through anecdotes and potentially screenshots etc. (They’ll be particularly useful on the one about dating apps, as I’ll be able to provide examples of awfulness).

A bit of time might pass between now, and the next post on this thread but, please bear with. I’ll make it blatantly clear in the title and they’ll be in the prose category, in non-fiction.

H

 

 

Plants and sex (For goodness sake)

I’m not really that into plants,

I mean thanks for the oxygen and stuff,

But I’m not fussed,

I mean I do need them to eat, as do all other beings.

And I am a vegan, I mean – they’re cool and useful and necessary blah blah,

But.

The thing is.

When I write about plants,

I always turn them into human bodies,

I make it about me and other people I’m missing or I missed out on or whatever.

It’s not that I’m turned on by plants or anything,

It just happens, and before I know it I’m shamelessly writing about sap and wood and buds and growing together and all this.

There’s something about soil I like, imagining writhing around in it like a worm and being all free and wormy,

That’s kind of like sex,

Good sex anyway.

Being a little creature and doing what feels natural.

Maybe it’s because I’m just a little bit repressed in my day to day life and I like the way plants just branch out and be themselves (ha).

I use them as a conduit to talk about other things,

It’s just as well really, sometimes things can often get a bit anatomy focused and medical otherwise.

Anyway I’m going to stop analysing myself now.

*Leaves.*